Comparison is an easy trap to fall into… trust me, I’ve been there.
You see her and want to be like her.
Whether it’s a celebrity, a woman on social media, or a friend, the desire to be like them is strong.
But this can be a dangerous trap.
Living in a constant state of comparison can lead to a lack of contentment and joy.
So what can we do to stop comparing ourselves to everyone?
I want to share 3 ways to help you stop comparing yourself to others and start living a life where you are happy in yourself.
Let’s talk about what we have to do before we take these three steps…
The first step to all types of change is awareness.
Becoming Aware of Your Thoughts
We can’t change without knowing what we want to change.
We have to have knowledge about the situation or facts.
In order to eliminate comparison, we have to be aware of when and why we are comparing.
Are you mindlessly scrolling through social media, unaware of thoughts like “I wish I had her life” or “I’ll never have a body like hers.”
Or as you look around the restaurant are you thinking “those women are so skinny yet they are still eating what they want. This is so unfair.”
These thoughts come unconsciously and without becoming aware of them they will continue coming.
In order to change our thoughts, we have to become aware of them.
Once we are aware of our thoughts, we can do these things to eliminate the comparison.
- Follow Positive Social Accounts
A majority of comparison today comes from social media.
When we follow people on social media that make us feel less than, we easily go down the comparison trail.
We see their “perfect” life or body and find ourselves wishing we were them.
But what we don’t see is what’s on the other side of the camera. And we don’t always hear their questioning thoughts.
Maybe they are hiding the mess in their living room. Maybe they are really not happy with their body, even though it looks that way. Maybe they are going through a really difficult time in their life.
We never know what people are going through behind the camera.
It’s easy to hide unhappiness.
Except from ourselves.
In order to stop the constant comparison game on social, we need to follow accounts that lift us up and encourage us.
Follow women who are strong and encourage you to be your best self.
Social media was meant to be a place of connection, not a place of comparison.
By the way, sometimes taking a social media break can be healthy. Never feel guilty for taking a break from social media.
Here are some positive, uplifting social media accounts to encourage you in your everyday life:
@elyse_myers
@ashliemolstad
@_hi_anxiety_
@femalecollective
@thegoodquote
- Acceptance
In order for us to stop comparing ourselves to others, we have to accept who we are. We have to be content and happy in ourselves, and then we can be happy and content for others.
Acceptance means finding contentment.
We can’t find contentment in comparison.
We find contentment in being who we are, and finding who you are is key to this.
Here are a few things you can do to find who you are:
- journal
- write your life narrative
- gratitude
- let out your feelings
All of these exercises can help us be happy where we are. We can always find joy if we look for it.
When we look at our life and are grateful for it, you will find contentment. Of course not overnight, but with consistency you will find what you are looking for.
Most of all, we have to accept that we are worthy just as we are.
Nothing makes us worthy. We already are.
You don’t have to look like a supermodel to be worthy. She’s worthy and so are you.
- Question Why
Why do you want to be like the people you are looking at?
Because you think they are skinnier or prettier than you? Because it looks like they have a happier life?
We’ve likely all thought something like this, and I will say overcoming it is easier said than done.
But question yourself.. why do you want to be like those people?
Maybe you feel unhappy and unworthy in your body.
Maybe you’ve had some terrible past experiences that made you feel uncomfortable and unhappy in your body.
Maybe you were bullied about your weight and live with the thoughts people put in your head (by the way it’s never okay to comment on someone’s weight).
The thoughts these feelings created come out in comparison, because we think we want out of our situation or body and into someone else’s.
I’m here to tell you… you will never be comfortable until you overcome these thoughts.
What you see in that other person? It’s confidence. It’s happiness. It’s contentment in who they are.
You aren’t looking to be the other person.
You are looking to feel worthy, loved, and accepted.
Comparison is an easy trap to fall into. Finding a way out takes work, but if you are willing to put in the work for you, believe you are 100% capable of change.
You are in control of your life. Not anyone else.
So if you want to stop the cycle of constant comparison, question yourself, believe in yourself, and put in the work to be your best self.
Find who you are and be confident in that woman.
Because she’s pretty amazing.
I’m doing a free training on May 24th at 7pm CST to help you find YOUR perfect body. We are always hearing about how we should treat our bodies, but I want to show you how you can find a body that you LOVE.
You are unique. What makes one person happy with their body might not work for you. I’m going to help you find what works for you so you can accept and love the body you live in! You can register here for the free training.
